Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Dear Dumpling...

Dear Dumpling,

As it creeps closer to my birthday, I usually get into a more reflective mode and I would look back at the year that has zipped by. One thing that has stood out over these past 7+ years is that you are a big part in these wonderful memories.

I will be the first to tell you that it is not easy to be a mum. I am often hard on you and I do ponder if I had been too hard, when I watch you sleep at night. But know that it being hard does not mean that it is not enjoyable. More than that, know that I am your greatest fan and you should always be assured of my love.

Importantly, know that when I see you fall and do not rush over to help you out, it is because I want you to learn how to get back up on your own two feet.

Know that when I do not side you in an argument / incident, it is because I want you to learn to take responsibility for your own actions and learn from your mistakes.

Know that when I say “no”, it is with good reasons and I only want the best for you as your mum.

Know that when I push and nudge you, it is because I know that you have it in you, to do better, to do more.

Know that when you cry, I cry along with you in my heart, as I furiously blink back my tears before you see them.  

Know that when I hug you a tad too tight, it is because ironically, I find it hard to let go.

Know that I am only just a mum and I do make mistakes as I am still learning how to be a good mum every day. And that many times, I am scared and worried shitless, wondering if my decisions on many folds are the right ones. But also know that I am insanely proud of you and because you are there with me, I am in turn assured that this journey is and will be sweet and fulfilling.

I love you baby, to Pluto and right back.  

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